14th February 2019 - Second biopsy

The day started with bad news. The secretary of the doctor that performed the biopsy called me to let me know that the procedure had failed and that, therefore, I had to go back to do a more invasive procedure, which would consist of inserting a tube down my throat that would make its way down to the abdomen and get a sample directly from the pancreas.

I was not at all surprised about the news so I took it relatively well, especially given that the new biopsy was booked for the same afternoon, meaning that not too much time would be wasted as a result of the first one not working out as planned.

The procedure was performed by a different doctor, who seemed very confident that this time I would get a result. I was sedated during the procedure but not completely asleep and I remember well the discomfort of the tube coming out of me towards the end.

As always, Jane was waiting for me at the other end and we went back home together just before dinner. I was feeling quite tired from the biopsy and also increasingly unwell due to the symptoms of the tumour getting worse by the day. Nevertheless, I was doing my best to chat and joke with the children as if none of this was actually happening. Whenever they were laughing, it would make me really happy. But, at the same time, I could not help looking at them thinking that in all likelihood I would not be around to share moments like these for much longer, filling me with a profound sense of sadness.