20th February 2019 - Chemotherapy begins

Jane and I got up early on the day as the appointment at the hospital was at 7am. We left the children sleeping at home and made our way there. The admission procedure was straightforward and so was the minor surgery required to install the port, which did not cause any pain or major discomfort.

By late morning I was ready to start the chemo treatment but, by the time all the drugs arrived, it was already 3pm. Folfirinox is a combination of different drugs, each of which produced its own peculiar side effects. One of the drugs (Irinotecan) made me feel somewhat dizzy, whilst the platinum-based drug (Oxaliplatin) gave me cramps and made the skin in my face and hands very pale, with the veins in my hands becoming increasingly blue and visible. But overall I was quite OK and by around 7pm I was planning to go back home and spend the rest of the evening watching a Champions League match with my children.

Things did not work out quite a smoothly unfortunately – as I was putting my clothes and shoes on to leave the hospital, I suddenly felt weaker and weaker. I have never fainted in my life but I knew I was about to do so as my eyesight became blurred and I started sweating profusely. I threw myself on the hospital bed as Jane was getting the attention of a nearby nurse, who quickly came to check my pulse and blood pressure – both were very low.

I really wanted to leave the hospital to see the children and reassure them that their dad was fine. However, as time went by, my rationale for doing so slowly disappeared. I looked terrible, it was getting increasingly late and I feared that my conditions could actually deteriorate if I went back home, where I would not be able to rely on immediate medical assistance. Furthermore, given the circumstances, it was difficult to see how going back home would be of any benefit to the children.

So when the doctors suggested that, as a precaution, it would be better for me to stay overnight at the hospital, I immediately accepted. I did not sleep much that night despite taking the usual sleeping tablet. Sleeplessness would become the norm on the first day of each treatment, a direct consequence of the steroids injected before the chemo drugs in order to prevent nausea.